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[quote=Anonymous]We realized that a lightweight wheelchair helped my frail mother be able to attend graduations, etc. She did not need a wheelchair for regular life but was willing to take a ride when walking distances would be hard. At a certain point we accepted she just could not negotiate stairs any more. I know other elderly people who refuse to ride in a wheelchair for events requiring a lot of walking, and so they miss out in a lot. I think it is time for your spouse to make it clear to the frail parent that the family will no longer put their own health at risk to assist the parent who cannot negotiate stairs on their own, nor to miss portions of events. If the parent wants to attend, they need to accept accommodations or accept that some events must be virtual. If your spouse is not even presenting live-streaming as an option, you have a spouse problem.

If your IL is not aging gracefully and willing to accept limitations when circumstances are too taxing now, it is likely to become a bigger problem as mobility continues to decline.

Some people are too proud to be seen in a wheelchair when it is not ordinarily needed. Okay, whatever. But then don't make it a whole-family problem. Their pride can cost them to miss out, but it is no longer going to cost the whole family.

Tough love.[/quote]

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