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[quote=Anonymous]OP hear with an update! We have had three relatively peaceful mornings in a row:

- started sending her to her room immediately upon voice raising or foot stomping. This makes her reallllllly mad but all of us are calmer for it. She can meltdown in her room while we sit outside her door and passively engage (red zone green zone idea). We realized how much of her behavior is reinforce by our presence - she just wants to be with us - so this has shortened outbursts.

- told her she has to dress independently and if she comes out dressed she gets to open a Lego from the advent calendar. She asked if she completes the calendar, if she can get a new Lego set she wants. We agreed. She is VERY motivated by this.

- if she comes out dressed but starts shouting or melting down, she goes back to her room.

- I’d she doesn’t go to her room in those moments she will lose stickers from her chart, but she seems to be very motivated by any fear of losing something

- we laid out all these terms during a special mom/dad time and let her build the plan with us. She wasn’t interested in picking clothes out or getting dressed at night, though she tried that the first night. We have her some ownership over what she’d get and when etc.

Thank you all for the ideas - the instant prize was the ticket, along with zero tolerance for “public” (family space) meltdowns. Now I am going to stock up on more advent calendars! [/quote]

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