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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If a family member gives a low dollar wedding gift (say under $40 for a couple) for a $100/person wedding, do you think they are signaling they don’t like you or think very much of you or the relationship, they’re cheap, or just clueless? They’re not poor. Of course I will be gracious to them but[b] do I back off any relationship with them in the future?[/b][/quote]

Why would you do this? So money equals love, therefore if they don't give you much money, they must not love you very much? Maybe they're not "signaling" anything. Move on with your marriage and don't give it anymore thought. [/quote]

I don’t think of weddings (birthdays, Christmases, other gift-giving occasions) on a quid pro quo basis.  Maybe they thought you’d consider the actual gift, rather than its cost.  Moreover, you don’t know all the details of their finances. Even if they can afford expenses you deem less important than yourself, they are allowed to have different priorities.

If you can afford $100/person, you would not appear to be poor either, but again, I don’t know your full finances. If you were counting on reselling your wedding gifts to pay for your wedding, maybe you should have economized a little to begin with.  Otherwise, be grateful that somebody cared enough to buy a gift they thought (however erroneously) you’d like, bought it, took the time out of their day to get dressed up and come to celebrate your wedding (possibly with the added time and expense of travel - perhaps you factor any hotels, airfare, gas, parking, and/or rental cars into the equation before you compare).

In my family, receptions are just that. There’s cake, iced tea/coffee/punch, nuts, and mints. Occasionally, the couple might provide something extra like fruit or ice cream, but it’s not expected. There’s just enough time to say hi to everyone and then we go our separate ways.  While it is a much simpler arrangement than the typical DC reception, it doesn’t lend itself to the type of mercenary judgement you’ve exhibited. [/quote]

I love your description of your family receptions!  I remember attending many lovely receptions like this when I was growing up — and I prefer this type of reception to the often stressful extravaganzas that many wedding receptions have become in more recent times.  Now all I need is a source for the buttermints! [/quote]

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