Reply to At what age will toddlers/preschoolers play independently

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[quote=Anonymous]This can be taught, and I think it’s very valuable to do so. We start at around six months old with our kids doing independent playtime (IP). Start with 10 mins, once a day, and work up to about 30 mins. That goes up to an hour when they stop napping. I think this is a key life skill for kids, plus it gives mom and dad a break.

At six months, we start them in the crib with some toys. Set a timer. Once they’re around 18 months, we move them out of the crib and they play in their rooms. All three of our kids have gone through phases when they hate it and (much longer) phases where they love it. But we power through.

Starting at 2.5 will for sure be tougher, but again, I think it’s worth it.

The timer is key. The beep of the timer (we just use a kitchen timer) ends IP, NOT crying/whining. I’d start with 5 or 10 mins, a brand new toy, and I’d leave her door open and sit outside it with a book. Everyone in the house should be doing something still and quiet when you’re starting so there’s no FOMO.

Explain it to her a day in advance. I’d make a big deal about how you think she’s old enough to do this, and how she’s so big. If she cries the whole five minutes, that’s fine. NO INTERACTION FROM YOU. If she tries to talk to you, the first time, she gets a “it’s independent playtime, it’s time for you to play by yourself.” And all future questions/statements you just ignore. If she comes out, either tell her to go back or wordlessly walk her back. My kids all went through a phase of repeatedly coming out. I give one reminder to go back in, then the second warning I say I’m going to close the door if they come out again, then the third infraction I close the door.

If it goes well, bump it up to six or seven minutes the next day. If she cries or comes out a lot, stick with five minutes for a while. Work up to 30 mins.

No matter what happens, she should get tons of positive reinforcement afterward, hugs, “what a good job! I’m so proud of you!!” Make a big deal of it. [/quote]

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