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[quote=Anonymous]When I first started reading this op I thought is this my BIL writing about us? :) I didn’t realize until marrying my husband that my family is like this. You describe it so well - fretting about, discussing every option and planning days out. Until spending time with my in laws I didn’t know many families just lazed around! It’s lovely. This is to say your in laws may not even quite “know” how to do this. I know that sounds silly but they want you to have a good time so to them that means finding activities for you. It has helped my parents for my sister and I to both be like hey I know this is kind of our family culture (and it’s become a bit of a joke) but we’d really like to just chill together as a family. Just explicitly talk about it and that we like just being around the house with them.

We accept that on the actual holiday day my parents will not be able to stop their fretting selves and will still work for the beautiful Christmas table or whatever it is and just try to love and enjoy that for what it is too, which is also special. But then ask for some of the other time to be downtime. Maybe your husband could chat with your in laws? He could even blame it on like mom you know how today kids are just so overscheduled and are work just has us running around we really want the kids to have some unscheduled time, if that would work better. Basically making it not about them but more about you[/quote]

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