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[quote=Anonymous]I have communicated many times over the years with my sister regarding mom's decline and her lashing out at me and my concerns about her functioning. Common scenario-sister lives far away, comes to town and mom keeps it together for her.  I even got an outside professional involved. My sister insisted I was wrong, she is fine, and I should just "go get a massage" and all will be fine. Mom's lashing out has meant doctors, and other professionals have fired her including the geriatric social worker I hired. She functions OK cognitively and I suspect it's more a frontal lobe issue. One professional convinced her to do therapy and meds, but she stick with it. Well due to an ongoing family emergency I have needed to back away completely and now sister is forced to come to town more and deal with mom. Mom lashes out at her now. Instead of saying "you are right, she needs more help and something is wrong" she declares that mom has SUDDENLY declined because I have backed off and I am causing mom considerable distress  and I am 100% responsible for all that goes wrong. There.are.no.words. I have professional evaluations of mom. I could go on and on but instead I am just going to keep focusing on my own family crisis and give up defending myself. We were never close and will have no relationship when this is all over. She gaslights everyone in her life so I should have expected this. Mom suddenly has dementia because of me![/quote]

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