Reply to Having another child after a bad case of PPD

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[quote=Anonymous]I had bad postpartum PTSD after my first was born. I waited 4 years to have a second. I waited until I was truly well rested, had done a ton of therapy, and had a lot of support and really felt that I had the capacity and desire to do it again. The second was an easier baby but still knocked me back down again. Sleep deprivation for me is a huge trigger for poor moods and number two was and continues to be a terrible sleeper.

I always, always wanted 3 kids. But I have had to accept that my mental health, marriage, and family cannot handle a third child, even though I badly, badly wanted 3 children. I have made peace that the tHe risk to my mental health is not worth it. I get sad when I see others who have 3 kids. But I also see
How much harder it is than having 2. I don’t think anyone who is on the fence about it should have 3 kids unless they really, truly have the mental strength, emotional capacity, and resilience to do it. It’s hard even in the best of situations and it’s selfish to keep t your desire for a third child override your common sense and very real limits as a human being. If you are still crawling out of PPD with a one year old, you are not ready to introduce a third child into your family.

My own mother did what you are suggesting because she thought she was getting too old and needed to have her third  baby before she hit 40 and my younger sister and I are 19 months apart. I felt massively displaced when she was born and we struggled with sibling rivalry and competitiveness her whole life because my mom didn’t have the capacity to fully nurture both of us and was overwhelmed parenting 3 under 5.

Your dreams for the size of your family should not be the deciding factor here, you have to be more pragmatic than that. [/quote]

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