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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The child doesn’t feel comfortable because her father has two new kids.  That is the problem here.  Reaching out to the ex-wife doesn’t help the child deal with that.

Also, you don’t indicate that the ex-wife would be happy to hear from you.  You said she’d think it was weird if you reached out.  And you don’t state that you miss the ex’s friendship or want to reach out because you were once close.  So what’s the point of reaching out?  It won’t help the child and it won’t be received well by the ex.  [/quote]
I disagree. The child doesn’t feel comfortable because she doesn’t know the family yet. OP hasn’t seen this child before due to “family drama.” It wouldn’t matter if the dad had no other kids- you don’t suddenly start feeling comfortable with strangers at 9 just because they happen to be related. The answer for OP is to be warm and welcoming and spend more time (and of course contact with the child’s mother or not a prerequisite). Build a relationship.[/quote]

Except the OP says that’s why the child doesn’t feel comfortable.  Besides, OP says she hadn’t  seen the child- she doesn’t say the rest of the family hadn’t  seen the child. [/quote]

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