Reply to The strain of SN on a marriage

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[quote=Anonymous]It's really hard. My DH and I have a pretty amazing relationship compared to most couples I know, but the strain of SN creates conflicts and issues we never had before. Our kid also has HFA, and I think that can be particularly hard.

The main thing that has worked for us has been reminding ourselves that we are a TEAM. It is so easy to blame each other or feel that we would have done things differently so as to prevent the meltdown that then ruined much of the rest of the day, but honestly, we both make mistakes, and it was probably coming regardless of what we did. We have worked through some therapy stuff together that has focused on our parenting, and that has been useful for us.

I do think you need some time with each other, even if it means turning on a movie for your kid and sitting in another room with takeout and pretending you are alone. I do think you should be able to find a sitter who will work for you. Can you set up a regular routine so that it is predictable? That can help kids who have a hard time with change. Is there an aftercare program or activity he might be willing to try? What about a teacher from school that he knows who would be willing to babysit once in a while? A friend's house he could go to?[/quote]

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