Reply to How do you model something when it wasn’t modeled to you?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "How do you model something when it wasn’t modeled to you?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]When I was growing up I felt my mother was just not supportive of, the best way I can describe it, my academic/social growth. In hindsight, I think she had a lot of anxiety herself that perhaps she projected, but also, she was busy herself (I grew up in a blue collar home with overworked, tired parents.)

I was not encouraged to do anything other than coast along. Sports were not encouraged because they were expensive and required time (transportation, etc.) Learning instruments wasn’t encouraged because of the cost. She did try her best, I acknowledge that, but I definitely didn’t feel encouragement in anything other than not causing her trouble, which I always seemed to do despite my efforts. Maybe it was the only attention I received?

As a parent myself I find that while I do encourage my children, it feels foreign, and I feel like a fraud. I have time to volunteer not only in school but in extracurriculars. They absolutely loved it in early elementary school, not so much as tweens now, lol.

But here’s the latest problem: I feel like a fraud, and like I don’t know what to do. Latest example:

My DD11 came home and said she was considering running for student council. I got very excited for her. Her teacher at conferences mentioned how she rallies and cares for her classmates and I couldn’t have been more proud. She even spearheaded a candy gram fundraiser with some friends, and I was so proud. I pointed out all of these qualities to her and told her I thought it would be a wonderful opportunity, but I didn’t know how to model that encouragement any more than that. I tried my best, but I just felt like a fraud, a failure. In the end she said she didn’t want to run because she was scared to speak in front of the whole school. I’m plagued by what I could have said or done differently to encourage and support her.

How do you model something when it wasn’t modeled to you? Help![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics