Reply to Blended families - how close are the parents/stepparents?

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Reply to "Blended families - how close are the parents/stepparents?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It really just depends.  Personally, as an ACOD with steps on both sides, I prefer less contact.  If they're in the same place it's very fake.  I appreciate that they can maintain basic courtesy, but I know that after any event I'll have to listen to my dad and his wife talk about my mom's infidelity and her loser AP.  And I'll have to listen to my mom's thirsty "Wasn't that NICE?  Oh, it was soooo NICE!" and if I don't validate it, she gets annoyed at me.  It's all really fake.

When considering this stuff, I suggest you ask yourself who it's truly for.  If the kids actually want it, okay.  But if it's a show you're putting on to convince yourselves or the neighbors that your family is more functional than it actually is, don't.  It's embarrassing and fake and burdensome to the children.[/quote]

OP here. This is really helpful and I often wonder about the fakeness. I know DH and I are genuine, plus all of the kids truly adore each other, so it works easily on that front. I am still getting to know bio mom and stepdad, but both appear very likable and, as humans, I could see them as our friends. We’ve even done an event or two without the kids (not double dates, but like game nights, adult events with a large group). The other side of me wonders if they just talk crap about us after being together and are just faking it 😂 like I said, it’s all new, and we’ll obviously do what’s best for our own situation. Just curious about others’ experiences. [/quote]

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