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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for these responses.

Yes, it really is a big emotional job creating boundaries and it leads to so much turmoil and drama, but worth it.

It's so strange how stepping back I can see how crazy it was/is, yet for some of us we still think we may be to blame. I wonder if part of that is because we are wired better. I know the abusers don't have that self-doubt and are quick to cast blame. Perhaps the self-doubt it was pushes us to recognize when we repeat any bit of the cycle in our own families we created so we get help so we can break it and we apologize. The self-doubt it was makes us keep an open mind, yet it is not useful at all when it comes to the relationship with the abuser if that make sense.

The screaming like a loon and putting on a smile when the doorbell rings is so on the mark when it comes to how they are in general. That whole game face for others where nobody would suspect what lurks behind closed doors...unless they got too close. With both my sister and my mother they can put on a great act until people cross a threshold. Once they see the dark side they usually backed away.

I really appreciate the support. [/quote]

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