Reply to Accepting the possibility of long-term singlehood

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone with high standards accept the possibility of long-term singelhood coming with the territory? If so, how did you accept? What are some of your standards you find hard to meet?[/quote]
Maybe I shouldn't answer because I've never actually tried dating (married first boyfriend, divorced, slept with a couple people I knew IRL, now been with my boyfriend for 9 years).  But I find I'm putting up with a lot more shady behavior from my boyfriend than I ever thought I would because I feel so pessimistic about replacing him.

I am attracted to so few people.  After this boyfriend, I have new shallow requirements that I've discovered are key to a great sex life for me.  [b]So he must be over 6 feet, muscular, and well-endowed.  At age 45+, that's already a rarity.  Then must click mentally in all the ways -- liberal, atheist, logical.  Then our lifestyles have to mesh -- laidback but responsible, self-sufficient adult but not uptight workaholic, no young kids.  Then all the bonus stuff, like similar taste in music, movies, TV shows, restaurants, amount of socializing, senses of humor.  [/b]

And I alluded to it earlier but the sexual chemistry is hugely important for me at this stage in my life after a long sexless marriage.  It's hard to find all of these personality traits in one person to just be FRIENDS with, much less to find all of them in a person whose bones you also want to jump.

And the truly demoralizing part is realizing I wouldn't have even found this boyfriend on a dating app because he didn't even self-identify accurately when it comes to politics and religion so I would've screened him out.  Also I am a low-energy introvert, so I am not willing to go on a million random dates.  Ugh no.  So if it doesn't work out with guy, I imagine I'd be permanently single.[/quote]
Well damn, this description makes me wish I hadn't already accepted the long-term singlehood. Congrats.[/quote]

Amazing that she's nevertheless unhappy and disappointed. Really just shows you that "high standards" can be impossible to meet and either a cause or justification of unhappiness and dissatisfaction.[/quote]

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