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[quote=Anonymous]Don't accept this as normal, OP. People get coddled on this forum about post-motherhood libido drop but it's a huge problem for a functioning marriage. I am glad you are being proactive.

Seek pelvic floor PT if there are unresolved sexual function issues or insecurities after childbirth. Yes, you can still have this years later, and if you had a C-section. I gained a lot of confidence knowing I was fully recovered, so to speak.

Yes, try to lose the weight. Confidence is essential. I'd bet your DH still finds you attractive but YOU also need to feel attractive.

Get new, flattering clothes that make you feel hot even if your current size is not your "forever" size.

Talk about fantasies and be really open with your DH about what you're into.

Look into medical solutions (hormone panel, etc. to see if there's an imbalance) or psychotherapy to reframe your mindset if you're still not feeling it. No views about sex-focused therapy but it can't hurt.

Bottom line recommendations: get into a mindset, even if it's a few hours a week, where you are not "Mom." Have date nights regularly; I recommend once a week. Put phones away regularly so you are having real interactions with your spouse instead of tuning each other out. Organize your life, esp around parenting, so that you have space for each other (e.g.- if you are letting your toddler in your bed all the time or they don't sleep through the night, fix that now).[/quote]

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