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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as someone notes above: You gave a "maybe" but that only leaves BIL thinking you might do it. Please change it to a clear "no." Of course going to NYC on short notice, sandwiched between other trips with a kid in tow, staying in an NYC hotel ($$$$) -- it's a no-go. Are you concerned that BIL (or SIL ) will be upset? Eh, this is really on BIL doing things last-second. The fact you got added [i]in the middle of[/i] a longer text exchange between BIL and someone you don't even know is an indicator it was a last-minute thing arranged by folks who dont' have kids and/or other plans already made.

Give BIL a very firm but cheery nope, can't make it, but you have a good time and thanks for thinking of us. Then if you are going to see SIL at the Halloween visit -- not clear to me, does she travel to meet you for that one? -- take special treats as well as gifts to make the birthday special. Big basket of pampering extras she would like, membership to something she loves like a museum, gift certificate to do something she wants to do but normally wouldn't splash out for, whatever. Better way to spend your money and time, than to spend them on a surprise trip that might or might not be as welcome to her as BIL thinks it will be. He means well but doesn't get that popping into NYC when you have other trips so close to that is not feasible. [/quote]

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