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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH and his sister have never been close.  We both live in the Washington, DC area.  We never see eachother except holidays and that usually feels forced.  We don't fight and there is no abuse.  It just seems like there is nothing there.  We have tried several times over the years and to no fruition.  They just aren't interested.  Are they estranged - I'm not sure.

My in-laws are nice but emotionally not there.  My DH thinks this is root of it all.

This bothers me - I don't know why.  There are moms at my kids schools who I am not friends with and it doesn't bother me.

I've talked to my therapist about this lately because the holidays are right around the corner.   DH says I just need to except this is the way it is.  We've done nothing wrong.

My question, then is, do we just stop doing these forced holidays?  [/quote]

Does DH want to keep doing holidays with his sister? This isn't your decision to do, although you have a say.  i think you are unhappy with DH's family dynamics, but is he unhappy, or just fine the way it is? Sounds like maybe he is also confused about it, but how old are you and how many years of marriage? The dynamics change over time, and maybe there hasn't been enough time to tell.

The basis seems to be: you are spending holidays with a person who is not close and doesn't seem to want to be close. What would happen if you told her your feelings? Such as, "We wish we felt closer to you. Is there something you are holding back?"

Also, examine your own family dynamics to see if you are replaying something that is more about you than them.[/quote]

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