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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How often are you seeing them right now OP?

We live close to both sets of grandparents. I had a great relationship with my grandparents so encourage lots of grandparents time on both sides when our kid was born. Over the next couple years it became apparent that my mil’s desire for time with grandkid and information on grandkid was insatiable. It got to a point where she was calling literally every day we did not see her for updates, and she was coming over or we were visiting 3x/week. I started to lose my mind. She would also do things like come over unannounced just to drop something off or invite herself to an activity with grandkid without telling us parents (like she would coordinate directly with a 2 year old and then would tell us this plan had been made!). I was admittedly a part of the problem too because I was allowing it and had encouraged time together at the beginning. I am a recovering people pleaser and admitted my struggled to say no and set boundaries for some time.

Anyway, that all changed now. I had to set some boundaries and it was NOT easy for the first year or so. Wow, my mil is overbearing and she will keep at it. But there has been a shift now and no one had to move (although I desired it many times ha!). My mil now sees grandkid like 1x/week and I am very hands off about the whole thing. I probably go 1x/month and the rest of the time I let my spouse coordinate directly with their mom. She still plans events directly with kid (I don’t know what this is. My DH has spoken multiple times with her about it and we’ve just decided it is like compulsive for her) but we just will not follow through with these plans for her and allow the disappointment. This is not easy and is actually painful but uhg it is what it is[/quote]

*my parents I see probably 2x/month. No issues with them around guilting us for not seeing them etc… no expectation around most holidays and pretty easy going which is so much easier. [/quote]

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