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[quote=Anonymous]Other posters have this covered, but I also wanted to note that when I finally had a baby in my late 30s, I understood better why, once someone has one kid, they'd have more even if financially the first was already a strain. I stopped at one child, which was always my plan, but it was harder than I expected it to be. Once you realize the joy of having a little baby who loves you in this very uncomplicated way and pats your face with their tiny hands... it's just very hard to resist having another. If it weren't for my age, I think I would have wound up having another even though it's not the family I planned for myself. Just because I loved my baby so much and the desire to have another to love, and also to see my baby learn to become a sibling, was very strong.

I have a friend who had a baby at 15 and then another at 17 with another father. I love her, but I had never really understood why she had her second. She was not opposed to abortion and her first, though dearly loved, had changed the trajectory of her education and life enormously. But after having a baby, I understand it more. I remember her talking about wanting her kids to feel like a family. And she was already a teen mom, so it's not like having her second, she would have avoided stigma or financial burden. I understand better that while her choices might not have made logical sense to me, who wasn't even having sex at that age much less contemplating starting a family, there actually was an internal logic to her choices that could only be understood if you were in her position.

Also, while she struggle a lot early in life, she ultimately did get a associates degree and a solid career as a dental technician, and her kids are both grown and went to college themselves. And now she has a pretty peaceful and stable life, with two grandchildren she gets to spend lots of time with at a young age. Her life wasn't destroyed and I guarantee you that she doesn't regret either of her kids. It's not the ideal path through life but it's not the catastrophe people sometimes make it out to be. [/quote]

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