Reply to How long did it take your parent(s) to pull the trigger on independent living?

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[quote=Anonymous]I started talking to them seriously around 2015. Dad was 72, Mom was 75. In 2017 or 2018, I insisted we look at some facilities and get on the waitlist for one of them. Which they did, but still said they weren’t going to move.

In 2020, at the beginning of the pandemic, my Mom started physically abusing my Dad because of her dementia. She still didn’t want to move, but my Dad realized they had to move. 
I took care of everything. Hired some people to help with downsizing. Hired people to fix up little things and do the roof. Dealt with Realtor and CCRC people. Bought things they needed for their new apartment (with their money). 
My Mom didn’t want to move. And any talk of moving caused her to take it out on my Dad. So we kept as much hidden from her as possible.

My parents went to my house. I stayed back at their house. Movers packed everything, moved it to their CCRC. Then I hired some people to help me unpack. (Did about 80%) Then surprised my Mom with her new apartment. 
She wasn’t happy, but there was no choice. Having them close and getting them doctors that specialize in Geriatrics was a blessing.

Dad admits being closer to me and DS, and not having to deal with a house, was a good choice. Especially since they quickly went downhill and I needed to help them a lot.  [/quote]

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