Reply to When did you know that you and your child would not have a good relationship when they became adult?

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Reply to "When did you know that you and your child would not have a good relationship when they became adult?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow.

I was expecting this to be a story about a 28 year old or something. And I was still prepared to come in and say (with a close personal experience at my back, not me but a relative) that you never know what the future will bring, you should leave the door open, accept your part (no matter how small) in the conflict, and hope that things evolve positively.

Your daughter is FIFTEEN!! This is an incredibly hard time for her and you. And you're thinking about writing off any potential for a good relationship when she's in her 30s?? That's a vast over-reaction. You need to take a deep breath and make "this too will pass" your mantra. It's totally reasonable to be psyched to get her off to college and out of the house. "Spoiling the nest" is a thing.

All the negative traits you see right now (jealousy, insecurity, emotional, reactive) are ALL products of being a teenager. Maybe she'll grow up to be insecure and jealous as an adult, but at worse you've got a 50/50 shot. Probably better.

Do not write this poor child off!

My evidence: a close family member was TERRIBLE to his parents in high school. Rude, mean, evasive, I would even say cruel at times. Completely out of control. Purposefully hurtful. Very immature. And honestly, that lasted until his mid 20s! Well, guess what? He grew up. He's in his 40s now and very close with both his parents. The fact that some parents would have written him off in his teens makes me so sad. [/quote]

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