Reply to When can I just drop the rope

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both my family and my husbands'
Lots of emotional baggage and dysfunction I don't want to pass on to my kids. 
No one lives locally.
Can't envision a time when any member of my extended family would ever actually 'help'.  They just demand and take. 
Long histories of emotional terrorism, favoritism, and financial unfairness

What is the reason to maintain contact with them? We don't need their money, we don't want their help, we don't want to dig them out of their holes.

There is obligation, but no joy.  [/quote]

Are we in the same family? Just keep stepping backward until you find your comfort zone. Some people behave better with more boundaries, others don't. I would not take the leap all at once. I would try different things to make things lighter and more pleasant. Maybe discuss with a therapist. You want it to be so that if you do drop the rope, you have no regret because you truly tried everything.

I get it though with all of this-especially take, take, take, We had our own family crisis and it was all "What about MEeeeeee, why aren't you focusing on meeeee?" they shame and guilt you into getting sucked into their problems and when you have a real issue, like a really ill loved one, they still want to take. They just don't know how to be decent humans.[/quote]

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