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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does your spouse think?

IMO, the best (only) way to manage an issue like this is to 1) tell your MIL to knock it off directly and clearly when the kids are not around and 2) monitor after that by ensuring that your MIL is never alone with your kids and push back / defend your choices (and your kids' behavior) every single time it comes up.

This is most effective if your spouse (MIL's kid) does it, but it can be whoever is policing the MIL/grandkid interactions if necessary. The main thing your are trying to do is make sure that your kids see you standing up for them/your choices. Otherwise, they will wonder if MIL is right/has a point.

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Tells them when I am not there or can barely hear it. Spouse [b]just tries to keep mom from getting angry[/b], so keeps quiet or grumbles a little but never stands up to mom.
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Work with your spouse to cut back on MIL's visit. She doesn't need to stay for weeks. Is she from another culture? The bolded is what really stood out. Spouse is walking on eggshells around her and this woman is toxic. Limit all her future visits. [/quote]

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