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[quote=Anonymous]I am beginning to get slightly concerned about my dad’s relationship with a much younger woman. Dad is in his mid-70s and she is mid-30s, younger than me and my sibling. I have met this woman many times and she seems nice enough. My dad has friends of all ages and at first when they were “friends” I didn’t think much of it. If anything, I thought she might be “looking after” him in a way (at the time a few years ago, I lived out of town). So, she decided to go back to school to get her degree, and at that time she moved in with my dad to save money, I suppose. I now live close by and I wasn’t thrilled by this at all, but what could I do. My dad said it was temporary while she was finishing her school and that she was supposed to help out by making healthy dinners etc.

So, a year later and it’s clear to me that she’s not helping at all. She is now finished with school but is still working night shifts so my dad adjusts his schedule to accommodate making her dinner before she goes to work, or staying up late and waking up when she comes home. I know he is funding her but I don’t really care about that- I am concerned about the impact that it is having on his health, trying to keep up with a much younger person. Not to mention she has a child who stays over sometimes, or my dad watches while she is at work sometimes (he has two grandkids). My dad’s health isn’t the greatest- he’s overweight and he isn’t in the greatest health. He tries to remain active and he still works full time. But, he really needs to concentrate on his health and his sleep and not mess around with going on trips and taking this woman out to eat all the time.

I have been asking my dad what her plan is for moving out, and he said something about she’s choosing which job she wants to take. Her motivation for the relationship seems mostly financial to me, although it’s not like my dad is dripping in money, he just has more than she does. His motivation seems to be companionship. I don’t have an issue if they both know what they want, but the issue is I think she is immature and she’s taking up his mental and physical energy to the detriment of his health- and I want him to be healthier and more available for his grandkids.

What do I do about this? I think it would be better if she moved out ASAP, but this is a touchy subject because I’m sure she doesn’t want to. I have a feeling my dad would be paying for a place for her to live if she does move out, too. How do I convey that I am concerned for him but I want him to be happy?[/quote]

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