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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are not alone in this at all.
Both of my grandmothers lived to around 100 and I had a false expectation that my mother would live a long life where I would spend many of my empty nester years enjoying her company. She was an amazing grandma to my kids. She died last year in her 60s and I am still devastated and working through grief and I certainly experience jealousy of those who have their moms in their lives. I really hope it gets better with time, but I am still working through some bitterness. I do think it will take intentional effort to move past and I do want to do that for my own mental health and my kids.
We had a school event yesterday where a kid at our table had grandma with him and I was pleasant enough but couldn't engage with them. It was just too painful. I am giving myself grace at this point with this kind of a trigger and giving my grief space to stay with me a little longer. It helps me stay connected to my mom's memory and that is what I need most right now. Sorry not sorry.[/quote]

OP here — thank for writing all of this and making me feel normal. I’m so sorry about your mom as well. I guess I thought I would feel a little better about things by now, but the pain is still pretty overwhelming. Like you, I cannot engage with grandparents. This is a little thing, but the other week I was talking to some moms about sewing on scout badges and one of the moms said “that’s what grandmas are for.” I could only half-smile and only say “we don’t have that option.” But I felt like bursting into tears. I don’t think she meant any harm and probably just assumed all of us had living and able-bodied parents, but it’s just proof that my grief is still very raw. [/quote]

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