Reply to When is it ok to give up on wanting to be close to your only sibling?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have one brother, who is relatively recently married. He has always been a serial monogamist, and lived with 4 women before marrying, and was always the dumper, and somewhat distant within the relationships from what they told me. (Two reached out after the end of their relationship). My brother has also always been the one to not reply to invitations and so forth. I was hopeful once he married that that would change, which I now see was something of a fantasy; his wife, who is a fine enough person, also has distance in her relationships, and periodic estrangement after actual arguments and fights with both parents and each of her siblings. My brother and I don’t fight, but I’ve gotten used to me suggesting a dinner together and him gladly agreeing and then…never replying. So this is a him/me/us thing, not a sister in law thing.

Anyway — as this is a very entrenched pattern, I’m inclined to simply not contact him again. I’m tired of this dance, tired of feeling hurt, even though I should know better. If he reaches out, I don’t intend to accept invitations, since they never pan out. (He has called me over the past 12 months to invite me to dinner at their new home and then NEVER responds when I accept). I think I’ve hit my point of no return because most recently, his wife texted me independently to ask if I wanted to have lunch with her and both of our little girls, and after I eagerly (“why doesn’t OP ever learn?”) texted yes and then followed up, never once replied. The lunch date she suggested was this past weekend, and I’m sore about it because I resent invoking time with the kids in this crap.

So should I simply let go entirely, and stop ever initiating contact or even responding should it come up again? Or try to have a big talk? I want to close myself off because this has gone on for years, and years. Thanks.[/quote]

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