Reply to Do you feel bad when your kid is not invited to birthday parties?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it depends on the culture of the school and the nature of the party. I have kids in 3rd and K, so my older son has transitioned out of the age of whole class parties. Kids also have distinct likes and dislikes - even in 1st grade it was clear that some kids are just not my son’s cup of tea, nor he to them. I don’t feel bad when he doesn’t get invited because he doesn’t feel bad. He could only have 8 kids at his BD this summer because of the activity he chose - so he understands how tough it is to choose only a few kids.

I would only feel bad if there was clear exclusion going on AND it was being flaunted in front of the kid. If the other 7 kids on the soccer team had a sleep over or went to a DC United game together and then were all talking about it in front of him, that would make me sad. If 1 kid on the team has 1-2 kids over for a play date after a game, I don’t care. There are 5 more kids who also were not invited.

Play dates in K are not a big thing in my neighborhood because the kids play at extended day together. The kids who have a parent home in the afternoon and come straight home or take the bus seem to have play dates with each other. Kids see each other at sports and activities. We have kids on our street that my kids can play with without scheduling or parent coordination. I am not initiating any play dates unless my kids ask for a child by name. [/quote]

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