Reply to How do you stay neutral when spouse gets locked in power struggle with tween?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't stay neutral. Spouse needs coping skills and parenting skills cannot be in a power struggle with their child[/quote]

What if the spouse has access to many resources that could help, but chooses not to use them and feels attacked when the other parent steps in because the only thing they really want is for the other parent to say "Show your father more respect. You're grounded!" [I'm not the OP][/quote]

DP.  I interrupt my spouse and ask to speak with him in a different room.  Yes, it pisses my DH off but my primary responsibility is to ensure a healthy environment for my kids (older teens).  I also have a separate conversation with whatever kid is engaged in the power struggle.  It helps to speak to both of them separately because it's easier to get to the root of the problem and makes it easier for me to interrupt earlier when a power struggle appears to be brewing.

I will say that I'm probably more sensitive to this stuff than most.  I grew up in a very violent, abusive home.  I'm a bit fanatical in breaking the cycle - my DH isn't abusive but it's the unproductive, unhelpful, authoritarian, unhealthy interaction that really lights a fuse under me that I have to work hard to remain clam in. [/quote]

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