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[quote=Anonymous]My parents live several states away. We bought our house a few years ago and they have typically stayed with us in DC when they visit. We have a large finished basement which is our guest space, it has a bathroom and kitchen, but the space is open-concept and also my office (I WFM every day).

Typically they have stayed with us when they visit. In August, our son's daycare was closed for a week, but it was my busy time with work and we had some personal stuff going on (my husband was making a decision on changing jobs that week), so my parents were coming to babysit my son, and since they were doing us a favor by babysitting, I offered to put them up in a really nice Airbnb in the neighborhood. My mom seemed put-off, not by anything she said - just attitude, can't really articulate it better than that - but they understood that we had a lot going on and a 9 day visit is a lot. They stayed with us over the second weekend they were here since I was using my office space M-Fri and it's hard to use it as a true office when we have guests visiting.

My husband is graduating from law school next spring and I am tentatively planning a celebration for him. I know it will not be relaxing for him if my parents are staying with us for his graduation weekend. I spoke with my parents this morning about the idea and said it'd likely make sense that they stay in the AirBnb that weekend if they visit. My mom again, sounded put-off: "Oh.....okay....... so we can't stay with you?" and I felt weird, but I just said yes, that'd be easier since we have a lot going on that weekend and I wanted to make sure it felt like the weekend was about him, instead of the responsibility of hosting. I got off the phone and realized there'd been no discussion of the finances... are we now expected to pay for the Air Bnb again for my parents because they're not staying with us? We had paid for it for the week they were doing childcare, to be nice, but this was just a regular visit.

In the back of my mind, I have something else coming up in March - my parents want to visit ON my son's b-day. We really like the idea of waking up and having the time with my son, sans parents/inlaws around, and my parents are high-maintenance guests that always need to be talking/engaging. I wish I could bring up to my parents that it's a little easier if they stay elsewhere on some visits, but I just feel like 3 visits within a year of suggesting they stay at an Air Bnb will really put them off. However, I don't want to set the precedent that they're just staying with us... and I don't really want to set the precedent that we're going to continue to pay for them to stay there.

The Airbnb is half mile away, about a 2 minute drive, and not pricey despite that we live in a nice neighborhood in upper NW. I don't know if I'm the ass hole for not wanting them to stay with us, but my husband and I both work demanding jobs and while I love seeing them, on occasions where other things are going on simultaneously (son's b-day, husband's graduation), I don't really want to host. I know my parents will be put off by this and not understand, based on their personalities.

When they were here for the week in August, we cooked every single dinner, the dinners we didn't cook, we paid for, it was a lot of work and honestly, exhausting, since I was also caring for my 1 year old and my husband works crazy hours. It wasn't helpful at all.

My parents have a decent income coming in in retirement and spend money fairly freely at this point. My husband and I are doing very well. We definitely have more money than I grew up with. My parents constantly are asking me how much we earn, how much we're both earning, so suffice to say, I think they know we have more money, and I am a little concerned that because they know we make a good living, we will just continue to pay. I'm not sure it's something they're consciously doing, but it's a precedent I don't really want to set. I am a very generous person but don't want to kind of continue to be the expected "provider" of all.

I'm not sure if this makes sense... would love any feedback on the AirBnb situation (and is it reasonable we don't want them staying with us for major events sometimes?) and also the financial piece... thank you.[/quote]

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