Reply to I'm having a midlife crisis, looking for advice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, are you expecting too much? You aren't special. I mean there is nothing especially special about you.

Trying to say this to be helpful, really ... but who doesn't experience "wrong" turns. Why would you be spared this?[/quote]

Hmm, thank you? I don't think I'm special and no, I don't think I'm expecting too much. I was not expecting to feel so socially isolated, and I was not expecting my family to be so dysfunctional. I also was not expecting this level of financial stress and pressure, and the pinch of trying to prepare for old age while also saving for college that gets exponentially more expensive daily. I was not expecting to be in my late 40s and needing to penny pinch the way I do for cash flow reasons. I was not expecting my mental health challenges to just become chronic -- never laying me totally flat out but never really getting much better.

Not special, but human. Life is a grind and I've been at it for a while and have quite a bit of time left and I feel tired, a bit lonely, and unmoored.[/quote]

I'm not PP, but I wonder if another way to say what (I hope) PP was trying to point out is that you aren't ALONE. Many of us in midlife feel very much the same. Most people have financial stress all their lives long, and having aging parents, preparing for retirement and having to push it off, and kids going to college is an especially hellish financial pinch. Most of us are starting to experience the accumulation of health stuff - for me it isn't mental health but little physical stuff that now means I often feel stiff and sore and do fewer active things because of it (even though I know I should do more, not less).

But it sounds like one of the things you are struggling with is that feeling of aloneness and social isolation, which can also be a feature of middle age. Its a conundrum.

I'll recommend a book that has helped me in middle age - Life Reimagined. It is about the things that bring health, meaning, and happiness to this life stage.[/quote]

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