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[quote=Anonymous]Does she have dementia? If so, there is no need to tell her about deaths. We were told to do therapeutic lies., "Oh yes, your sister is doing wonderfully. She sends her best." "Your brother wishes he could be here, but he is on a trip with the grandkids."

If she is still cognitively here, but very anxious and struggling, is she receptive to getting help? What languafe does she speak? Grief groups can be useful and therapy, sometimes meds. Also, doing more outings and social activities through a church or cultural group for distraction help. If she is resistant, let doctors know your concerns. Sometimes the doctor can convince them to start meds which makes them get some relief and be more amendable to doing things to promote good coping skills.

Have you looked into residential care situations where there are lots of residents who speak her language? She needs to have more of a life than just family. Some people gasp at that, but it's true.

If she refuses everything and is cognitively capable then you just have to accept you cannot make her better and all you can do is keep in touch, visit and try to make those moments pleasant.[/quote]

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