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[quote=Anonymous]Well, you could think about the regrets you have from how you handled it before and intentionally plan to not have those same regrets this time.

When I've known loss was coming I have intentionally set out to spend as much time as possible w/ the person, to spend that time laughing/reminiscing/talking/doing things we enjoy together, etc... I've also used it to talk to them about what they want to happen when they die, how they are feeling about impending death, what they wish to happen for those they love after they die, etc.

That may sound macabre, but I sat at my best friend's funeral, crying buckets but also taking great comfort in seeing things he wanted for the service actually happen. I take comfort in knowing how much I prioritized time with him.

When my mother died last year, we had very little good time at the end but I had one calm afternoon where we just chatted for an hour. I asked her questions about choices she made in her twenties (and learned things I didn't know!), we looked at her wedding album, we watched a favorite show together. Pretty tame stuff, but it was calm and relaxed. I knew it was one of the last decent windows I was likely to have w/ her. Now I'm glad I was aware enough of that, that I asked some random questions, that it was a happy hour for her. There are a million things I wished I had asked of course, but there will always be those things.

Just take advantage of the time you have. They cannot live forever, but they can know they are loved while they are here and you can take comfort in those things later.[/quote]

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