Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Making someone's life better than your own doesn't necessarily mean they had a GOOD life. If you were beaten twice a day and you only beat your child once a week, you still beat your child, you see?

Saying "I'm sorry if I contributed to your unhappiness...." is not a real apology. It's the word "if" that's the problem. You need to change it to the word "that".

But lets review what he's saying: his parents were fighting, you wouldn't let him be an independent thinker regarding religion, and on top of all that, he was isolated via homeschooling. Yeah, who wouldn't be upset by all that?! [/quote]

I am very sorry, but it certainly wasn't intentional to harm him.[/quote]

Apologies don't have qualifications. "I am very sorry" is all that is needed. Keep the rest to yourself. [/quote]

"I'm sorry. I did the best I could." Which is true!

Look, we parents can do the best we can and we can still screw our kids up. Both parties can be right. Your child can lay this stuff at your feet, but really both of you need to be exchanging feelings-- the adult child that they are hurting and want to solve issues from the past and the parent that they are people too, with feelings, stressors and real life that affected how they parented and how they feel today. [/quote]

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