Reply to Inconsiderate gift (or AITA)?

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[quote=Anonymous]It is rude when you make it clear you dislike something (e.g. jewelry_ and someone gives it to you anyway. That is not a gift. I would simply make a new rule that you are trying to be more thoughtful about the environment and teach your kids people matter, not giving gifts. Let them know from know :the gift is your presence" and you do not want material things from them. If they continue-donate.

One thing that struck me in a psychology class was that gifts are often manipulation. I recall as a 20 year old or so thinking that was such a strange concept because I bought into gifts being gestures of kindness. Most often they are not. Many families have strings they think are understood with gifts. Lots of people give gifts to annoy - e.g. a friend of mine got a vacuum from her MIL while in med school because the MIL was horrified a med student didn't clean enough. Some people give gifts to brag about how generous they are and show off. You have a right to let people know their time and company are gift enough.

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