Reply to Is middle school always miserable? (Mean girls)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They learn this sort of behavior from their "involved parents". The involved parents were the ones behaving this way in middle and high school and teaching their children this behavior because they still act this way. Maybe your child needs new friends. I would encourage her to join other activities and make new friends through those.[/quote]

I don’t really agree with this.

I think there is a code among the girls in groups like that not to rat each other out and if a parent interferes, the child of that parent will just be tortured more.  And a lot of them are smart about how they do it.

The lesson your daughter needs to learn is how to handle herself and what she’s willing to be a part of and put up with.  Don’t assume she is totally “innocent” either.  You focus on her, which is the only variable you have any control over. She needs to realize being “cool” isn’t worth it if this is how she feels and acts and gets treated and find new friends.  You keep reminding her what friendship means, what she should expect of herself and others, listen and don’t judge or she’ll stop talking to you but ask questions back so she sees what’s going on herself.  She will get there.

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