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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are also adult day care programs where you to take her to a group setting for the day.  The socialization aspect of that is very nice and positive.[/quote]

Good way to get COVID [/quote]

OP you need to think long term. What you are proposing does not sound sustainable. I would research memory care now. It's not all going to magically fall into place when you realize she is farther along that you thought. Also, one fall/surgery/life trauma and she could progress quickly. Better to already be in the right setting.

Does she even have friends where she is? You said for cultural reasons you want to keep her in her home. Is it even safe for her? Does she hav e a network besides you? The old fashioned cultural ideas go along with villages and communities where people can support this. They don't jive well with busy parents being stretched thin and neighbors who have their own lives and stressors.[/quote]

Mom has been here for over sixty years so she has friends and family in the DC area.  The younger members work and have children and the older members can help on occasion. Truthfully, I’m thinking short term as the unexpected passing of my dad has added depression to the dementia.  I have an elder family member helping now but she will be going back home to another state in October.  I also will be going back to work in a few weeks.[/quote]

My family had been here just as long. When they get too needy those willing to check on them and visit stop. Her friends will have their own medical issues. The depression needs to be treated because it will make things far worse, at least it did in our case. If she is not receptive, let doctors know your concerns so they screen and try to persuade her. Grief support groups can be enormously helpful, but many elders refuse. If you can get the doctor to mention it as well, may help. My aunt finally went and made friends there who really understood what she was going through and that is even with mild dementia it helped. I know this is all sudden and you are dealing with loss as well. Just start looking long term when you can and figure out something that will not do you in. Things can go south at rapid speed. Frankly, our mistake was not going right to residential. Mom became more and more needy and that led to the volatility and tantrums. Her friends seemed to evaporate as she got more difficult and I don't blame them. Better to get settled where she can stay and get proper care and social activities. You can hire someone to help you make a good choice of placement, just don't get a case manager who specializes in aging in place. They use contractors who don't always show and they promise the moon and feed the insanity. They also feed the fears of the elder about memory care. We found residential best for all-much easier for us to visit and enjoy our time, and after an adjustment period, much better for well being of elder-no more lonliness and tantrums.[/quote]

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