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[quote=Anonymous]I was in this exact situation except my mom had moderate dementia at the time. OP I am so sorry for the loss of your dad and that you are going through this. it is really hard. I recommend that you talk to a grief counselor to help you process everything.

In terms of practical stuff, yes there are definitely adult day care places. How is your mom sleeping at night? My mom would wake up at night very confused so having her stay with us would not have worked - we would have never slept. And definitely do not waste energy resenting your sibling. And remember your mom would likely slowly decline over 10+ years - it is not realistic to expect your sibling to move and upend his/her life for that period of time.

Does your mom have assets? I would talk to a lawyer about getting things set up so your mom can qualify for Medicaid after the 5 year lookback. Depending on the state, Medicaid will pay for home aides so it is an option even if you don't want to put your mom in a nursing home. Where do you live? In NYC I recommend connecting with CaringKind.

I'd also recommend the book "The 36-Hour Day: How to take care of People who have Dementia".[/quote]

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