Reply to Pre-marriage due diligence checklist

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Pre-marriage due diligence checklist "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me see your finances - debts, savings, spending habits, etc.  Is he cheap? Is he going to buy a Rolex on a random Tuesday? 
Not something you can ask, but look at his temper over the coarse of at LEAST a year - how does he handle frustration, anger, sadness, road rage, embarrassment - if a stranger engages and tries to start a fight does he de-escalate or get into it?  
Is he civic minded? Does he vote? Volunteer? Donate time/money/resources? Recycle? Compost?
Drugs/alcohol - is whatever his usage is, something you're comfortable with? How does personality change when using? Responsible driver? 
Longevity of relationships - how long has he been friends with his oldest friend? Close with extended family members? 
Career - does he have a plan? Is it realistic? [b]Is he kind to people at work? Does he support coworkers or step on them to get ahead? Does he  treat people "under" him respectfully?[/b]
misogynist/feminist - is he whatever aligns with your beliefs?
Lifestyle - is it compatible with yours? Or is he a city person while you want to live on a farm? Is he someone who always needs to be busy and you want a lot of down time? Does he want to go to monster truck things while  you want to go to the  opera?  Does he want to spend every weekend with family while you want to visit once a year? Do you want vacations to be in a cabin on a lake and he wants to travel around European cities? 
Kids - do you both want the  same #? are you on the same page with lifestyle for kids? Goodwill clothes until they're 15 or Janie and Jack? Will you both spank? 
Safety: does he lock doors and you never do? Does he let anyone into the house and you are suspicious of everyone? [/quote]

So, this actually could have been a red flag in my marriage, but how do you learn something like that?  My ex did not work from home, and I definitely wasn't privy to his work interactions.  The way he described his days at work did not cause any concerns, and his career has been progressing reasonably well at that point.[/quote]

NP and meh I don't think that's really meaningful.  I've seen people that are jerks at work that are great to their families.  I've seen people that are jerks to the people that work directly under them but that are super nice to their admin assistants and other entry level support staff.  Some of how "nice" someone is will also be a function of how stressful their job is such as, for example, biglaw partners being ruthless about demanding deadlines but they're also often getting the same pressure from the clients.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics