Reply to A friend regrets adopting her daughter

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Reply to "A friend regrets adopting her daughter"

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[quote=Anonymous]To get back to the OP's topic/question, individual therapy for the mother before family therapy is the way to go.  A good friend of mine was adopted and her mother did not attach to her.  It happens, and will have impacts for the child's entire life.  The child may have RAD and may have other troubling behaviors, but you are picking up on the mother's distance and that's where the family should start.  Individual therapy for the mother can help her figure out what's going on and aid her in doing what she needs to do to continue to provide her daughter with a loving home.  She is the adult and it needs to start with her.

It's true that parents can be distant from and/or not very attached to bio children as well, but when that dynamic is laid on top of adoption it is very damaging for the child.  It goes beyond not being the favorite because the adopted child relies on the love of parents and integration into family life to create a sense of belonging.  While distance in a bio family can cause drama or hurt feelings, it typically has to be extreme to erode the child's core sense of being a part of the family.  An adopted child is at greater risk of this happening.[/quote]

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