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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me start off by saying that I lost my mother at age 14, and so I think I have more than the average vulnerabilities about death and loss. That said, I wondering how many of you are having trouble coping with the aging and death of elderly parents? In the past few years it's been an issue for my husband and me. First his father had a debilitating stroke followed by dementia, my step-mother developed leukemia and other health problems requiring round-the-clock care, and most recently my mother-in-law passed away after a long illness. In many ways my MIL was a surrogate mother to me, so I'm taking the loss pretty hard i guess.

The things I've noticed at this season in our lives are:

~[b] With our parents dying my H and I are feeling like the "glue" to our family is gone. My in laws were so pivotal to family interactions. It truly seems like the end of an era.
[/b]
~ My H and I feel like the "buffer" between us and mortality is no longer there. With parents passing on we're more conscious of our own aging process.

~ Like so many of our friends in similar situations, we still have kids at home even as we try to care for our aging parents. Sometimes we both just feel overwhelmed with all the caregiving and demands.

Anyone else feeling this way? Anyone old enough to have lived through these experiences and offer words of encouragement or advice? Does it get better?[/quote]

My parents are both gone - my father first and my mother second. What you wrote is true but as one "era" ends another begins.  It may take a few years to work itself out but eventually your family comes together again on its own. Sometimes in truth the glue that you speak of wasn't really there and was more guilt, bad feelings, etc so you may find that some family just moves on and doesn't want to keep in touch and is simply happy for the era to end.[/quote]The hard thing I find about this is that I relied on my parents to keep me in touch with all my aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, and the larger extended family. When my folks passed away I was able to attend events organized by by other relatives in that generation. But that generation is passing away and the people my age have spread far and wide.  Fortunately Facebook is making it easy to keep in touch with a few of them but it feels weird to not have a reason to go back to my home state anymore.[/quote]

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