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[quote=ted_lasso]My DC is coming to the end of their youth soccer career after playing the game since 5 y/o. In the not too distant past, DC was on the most elite team, one step away from a professional academy and told they were one of the best players in their position. As a family, we bought in to the coach's BS and stuck around while player development took a second or third row seat to recruiting new players in order to try and win games. Time and time again the message was "keep working hard" and you'll get your spot back. All the while there was no actual coaching, just the same old lip service and pandering to any bright and shinny object that caught the coach's attention.  Looking back, we regret sticking with the coach and team and the notion that "loyalty" to either would benefit DC in the long run.  After nearly 12 years of soccer, we were still very naïve. That said, play with a coach and a team that focuses on developing your DC, even if that means they play on "cyan". Most importantly, be weary of the "purple" carrot. Honestly, unless your DC is being chased by the purple coach, it's very unlikely they'll get a permanent spot.

As a final thought and the hope of not coming across as too cynical, most coaches have lost sight as to why they started coaching in the first place. They have some success in a tournament or a league and then convince themselves that the way they do their jobs is the best.  The only metric for success is winning. They forget about player development and keep looking for the next brass ring without having any idea as to why or how they were successful in the first place. It's a vicious cycle that starts out with great intentions and then leads to a pattern of behavior that IS emotionally and psychologically abusive because they care very little about 80 percent of the players on their teams in favor of the two or three favorites.  Looking back on our youth soccer journey, there were lots of high moments but the highs do not come close to balancing out the lows and the shitty way a coach/coaches treated players who were simply looking for validation and actually coaching - not just "work harder."

Best of luck to your DC. [/quote]

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