Reply to Advice on how to handle new info re trauma in birth family

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[quote=Anonymous]Yeah, I've experienced a similar situation.  It involved my Mom and her brother.  She told me when when I was around 40.  Up until that time, never a word, my uncle was a part of our lives.  It came out of the blue.  There's a lot I regret about that time and wish I had done some things differently.

Is your sister working with a therapist?  Would she be willing to let you come to a session so you can ask questions, learn more?  I would highly encourage you to do this if you can.  My mother made the offer for me to do this and I didn't take her up on it, I wish I had as now I don't really know what happened (not that I needed specific details, but a little more info to help me understand would have been good).  I supported my mom and she wanted to cut him out of our lives and we did, but now it feels unresolved to me.

I would also encourage you to think about what you need / what you want to do.

It's a lot to process and it changes how you feel about your family.  You are going to feel resentment.

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