Reply to Emotional Regulation in Toddlers

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[quote=Anonymous]How do I help my daughter who struggles with emotional regulation?  She's 3 and when told no or basically anytime she can't do precisely what she wants she loses control and sometimes can't seem to get herself calmed down for 30-45 minutes or longer. When she loses control she tends to run around singing or screaming and throwing stuff and if you get close to her she will try to kick you/hit you (she knows we are coming to take her to a place to help her calm down and she doesn't want that).  One the one hand I think this is fairly normal 3 year old behavior, i.e. she throws a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants.  On the other hand I think the level of the running and screaming and the duration it lasts is a bit unusual, especially combined with the fact that there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to help end it sooner.  We've tried talking about big feelings, and have read all the books on big feelings.  In calm moments we've tried to give her other strategies than running and screaming. We've been at it for more than 6 months and there seems to be no change in her behavior either good or bad.  Our current strategy is just ignoring her as much as possible and waiting for her to stop on her own as long as she isn't hurting herself, anyone else or being too destructive.  Usually she stops after 30-45 minutes, sometimes faster, sometimes longer. Her preschool has also commented on this behavior, but so far don't have any suggestions, and haven't come up with a way to control it either, so sometimes we get called to pick her up.

If I wanted to be proactive about trying to manage this what would I do?  Does she need to see a developmental pediatrician? Someone else?  [/quote]

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