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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Line between villanizing spouse and gaslighting kids?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom did some well-intentioned gal lighting of me in a similar situation and I think it had a really negative impact. Don’t badmouth him obviously but just let them say how they’re feeling without countering with “he loves you.” Don’t make it into the poor wounded daddy show either. [/quote] +1 You can validate their feelings without villainizing him. "It hurt your feelings that Daddy missed your birthday." "You're angry that he didn't call when he promised to." Don't make excuses for him; as appropriate, you can give some version of "Daddy has some problems he's working on and right now it's not safe for him to live with us." But don't link "Daddy loves you" with his failures to show up or call. [/quote]
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