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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here-- I am very ashamed to admit that I want to be married. I wish I could be all alpha female and say I can just do it by myself. That I don't need a man. i know I need to be thinking of the kids, and believe me, I am doing that as much as I can. Psychologically it eats me up. Husband wants to buy a boat, I do it, even if I dont agree. Just to keep the effing peace.

My mom is a divorcee who did this, and I saw how difficult it was.

I also am really scared to be alone.

It is very hard to work on a marriage BY MYSELF.

[/quote]

Then don't work on the marriage. Spend your time on other things. But you won't find a partner willing to raise your three kids. Don't even think of it as an option. It's a fairy tale. You might be able to find a lover but that has it's own drama that you probably only know about 1/4 of at this point. But even then it will take away time from your job and kids. You can't do everything at the same time. Eventually, the kids grow up and leave. What's wrong with a boat? He goes away and pays rent and drives kids around. If he doesn't love you he doesn't love you. Don't try to make it happen. You will know if he's open to it again.[/quote]

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