Reply to No desire to fix sexless marriage, even though I know we must, right?

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Reply to "No desire to fix sexless marriage, even though I know we must, right?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are mid-40s. Sexless for 3 years (maybe 2-4x a year) and before that, we were once a month on a good month. Been this way for a decade.

It used to be a constant source of frustration. We had many discussions about it. I tried everything I could think of to fix it. I can't count how many times I got my hopes up for some vacation or special occasion, only to face rejection or some half heated "get it over with" vibe.

[b]We have been in marriage counseling for several months, and the counselor has been encouraging us to reestablish physical intimacy.[/b] My spouse has raised it recently, and....I just can't. I don't want to now. I still have a healthy sex drive and fantasize and self-care regularly. [b]I just have too much resentment to be intimate with the person whom I feel wasted our prime sexual years and whom I have trained myself to see as non-sexual to spare my own feelings of shame and rejection.[/b]

Has anyone actually re-kindled in this situation? I know its not sustainable to be sexless forever. Please be kind.[/quote]

Open your mouth, use your words, say this out loud in a therapy session. You have nothing to lose by being honest in therapy. [/quote]

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