Reply to No desire to fix sexless marriage, even though I know we must, right?

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Reply to "No desire to fix sexless marriage, even though I know we must, right?"

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[quote=Anonymous]We are mid-40s. Sexless for 3 years (maybe 2-4x a year) and before that, we were once a month on a good month. Been this way for a decade.

It used to be a constant source of frustration. We had many discussions about it. I tried everything I could think of to fix it. I can't count how many times I got my hopes up for some vacation or special occasion, only to face rejection or some half heated "get it over with" vibe.

We have been in marriage counseling for several months, and the counselor has been encouraging us to reestablish physical intimacy. My spouse has raised it recently, and....I just can't. I don't want to now. I still have a healthy sex drive and fantasize and self-care regularly. I just have too much resentment to be intimate with the person whom I feel wasted our prime sexual years and whom I have trained myself to see as non-sexual to spare my own feelings of shame and rejection.

Has anyone actually re-kindled in this situation? I know its not sustainable to be sexless forever. Please be kind.[/quote]

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