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[quote=Anonymous]My best friend of over 40 years life has been turned upside down.  Her adult son was arrested last week with massive amounts of child sexual abuse material was found on computer.  He lives at home with my friend and her husband.  I don’t know the details but it seems like he was running a child sex abuse website on the “dark web” and eventually was located by a specialized task force.

She and her husband posted his bail which was a incredibly high amount and her son is back living with them while under surveillance.  It’s basically house arrest.

We are both teachers in the same district although we teach at different schools.  This all happened the week of inservice and the district essentially forced her to retire (or that’s what she says happened). We are both the same age and we’re both planning on retiring 2024 so she’s retiring two years early.

She reached out to me and I don’t even know how to respond.  I’m shocked.  I hadn’t seen her son in over six years.  My eldest daughter and her son were friends in High School and well into their mid-20s but then lost contact.  I knew he was living at home but was under the assumption he had some pretty significant issues with anxiety and depression.

His mugshot is available online and I wouldn’t even think it’s the same person.  This kid was one of the smartest kids in school.  Graduated Salutatorian, well-liked, funny, and good-looking.  Got two Bachelors  from a top private school in our state (BS in computer science and software engineering).  But then couldn’t keep a job, ended up moving back home at 24 and just becoming reclusive.   But now he looks like a different person.  Gained about 150 pounds.  Long greasy unkept hair, thick beard and mustache.  Unrecognizable.  I showed my daughter and she didn’t believe it was the right picture (she also had not seen him since 2017).

I don’t know how to support my friend.  I don’t know if I should.  We live in a smallish town (not DC local) and you can imagine the gossip.  I do not want to jeopardize my career.  Parents aren’t going to trust a teacher who is spotted getting coffee with the pedophiles mom.  I know that sounds harsh, but that’s how it is here.

I dearly love my friend.  I do.  I don’t know if I should just back off for awhile or what.  She is reaching out to me in hopes of some sort of support but I’m scared.  I do want to support her, but I have nothing positive to say about her son and I think she wants to hear that he’s a good person, that he is just making mistakes.  I love my friend but she’s enabled her son to sit in their attic all day for the past 5 years and contribute to the abuse of children worldwide.  I am almost scared of her too, how did she raise this child?  How did she not know?

My DD says looking back he has made some weird comments in the past, but didn’t really elaborate.  How did these parents not know?  Why are they ok with him in their house?  He used their internet was using a computer they purchased.  I have felt dizzy all week.  My heart hurts for her, I cannot imagine.  [/quote]

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