Reply to Learning about being adopted through an anonymous call...

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Learning about being adopted through an anonymous call..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I know your heart is in the right place, but please be careful about attributing suicide, depression or other issues to someone's adoption. As an adoptee and an adoptive mother, I'm sensitive to things that play into stereotypes about adoption. Yes, it's very true some adoptees talk of always feeling out of place, knowing something wasn't as it seemed, not fitting in, etc...but that's far from universal. It's also easy/tempting to say those feelings stem from the adoption, not something else. Millions of people raised within their biological families are depressed or commit suicide and recent research shows the difference b/w adoptees and non-adoptees doesn't conform to the stereotype (see below). It also doesn't do anyone any good to perpetuate the stereotype that if an adoptee just reunites with their bio family, those "holes" they have will close. It's so individual and fact-dependent and adoptees can be left feeling worse if they don't feel "whole" like all the happy stories tell them they should.

I know this wasn't what you were trying to do, but in providing all these details and attributing feelings to people based on your perceptions or guesses, you're playing into the stereotypes. If your point is how awful a person must be to reveal a significant secret to someone anonymously, it can be done without the speculation about the implications of a person's adoption.

"This study addresses the controversy of whether adopted adolescents are at risk for more mental health problems than the nonadopted and specifically evaluates differences in suicide ideation and depression. Same gender comparisons were made between 346 adopted adolescents and nearly 14,000 others living with biological parents, with nationally representative data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. Results showed few divergences in suicide ideation, attempts, and depression between adopted and nonadopted adolescents and young adultsResults showed few divergences in suicide ideation, attempts, and depression between adopted and nonadopted adolescents and young adults." "Are Adoptees at Increased Risk for Attempting Suicide?" [i]Suicide and Life Threatening Behavior [/i],William Feigelman PhD, Article first published online: 6 JAN 2011[/quote]

Thanks for your post. OP here and forgive me if that was the impression I gave. I was just writing about what my colleague SAID to her parents upon being revealed about the adoption. It came out of her own mouth that she felt out of place and even suspected but never had the courage to ask them.

With my cousin it is speculation because he never said anything but we have strong indicators that he found out in a not very pleasant way about his experience. He adopted a child himself and his marriage ended because the wife didn't want to tell the child about the adoption.

Anyway, I guess I came to the wrong place to vent.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics