Reply to Spin Off - Grieving the spouse I lost to mental illness

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[quote=Anonymous]When DH and I met 25+ years ago, he was kind and loving. At some point, mental illness reared its ugly head and his personality changed. He’s now abusive. We have multiple kids (yes, I know, I wouldn’t have had them if I knew he was mentally ill, but he didn’t start showing symptoms until later). They’re teens now and all have mental health issues related to his. One is fully ODD/defiant/explosive. I am so, so tired and burned out.

Reading the grieving parent and cutting off mom threads, and am actually jealous for the ability to get distance from these abusive situations. DH helps with the kids during his “sane” periods and god knows I need this help because the kids are extremely difficult. Divorce isn’t an option because he would wreak havoc during the process, and frankly I can’t handle such difficult kids alone. At the same time, I also grieve for my kids who can’t get the mental health help and support they need. I am verbally berated daily. I’m left holding together the carnage. Sometimes I literally just want to die because my situation feels so hopeless (I’m would never go through with it, just a response to the cold reality of my situation). [/quote]

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