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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Firstly, this problem is in no way comparable to the challenges faced during infertiliy, and my heart goes out to all those trying to conceive.

We did IVF several years ago and have two healthy children, 3 and 7 years old, as well as multiple frozen embryos.  I've always wanted 3 children and would love to have another child, but my husband doesn't want a 3rd.  This is a "two yeses, one no" type decision and in many ways it is for the best. We both work outside the home, don't have any local family support, and I love supporting my kids' extracurricular interests, which can be logistically challenging.  Most of all, my husband's turned out to be a pretty indifferent father - he'd rather surf the internet than have a conversation with the kids or attend a soccer game.  However, while I accept the situation for what it is, I still feel such sadness over our unused embryos.  I'd like to donate them to someone trying to conceive, but I'm not sure of the likelihood of them being chosen since they aren't genetically tested.  (Our RE advised against it based on our ages at the time we underwent IVF.)

I'm posting mainly just to vent, but it would be helpful to "chat" with other people in a similar situation. 
[/quote]

I am talking to you from the other side of this dilemma.

We too had two healthy children plus multiple tested (!) embryos in storage.   We went for a third and had another boy.  Two things:

- life with three is exponentially harder than with two.  I love my youngest but I'll be honest with you that it's hard financially and logistically, and life in this country is just set up for a family of four in a way that it isn't for a family of five

- the sadness doesn't go away because even with three children, we still have embryos in storage (and so would you if you used just one of yours).  We obviously can't make them all into babies just because we have them!  In a sense, we only had a third because we had embryos in storage.  If we didn't, we would have considered ourselves fortunate with two healthy children at our age.  It would have been a easy door to close if not for the embryos.

My advice to you is to make peace with what you have and try not to pine. A third baby is no joke and if your husband doesn't want it, please don't have it. [/quote]

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